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Caspar & Bernadetta C

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Bernadetta enters the scene
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Bernadetta
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And that one goes there. Perfect!
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Caspar enters the scene
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Caspar
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Oh! Hey, Bernadetta! What's going on?
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Bernadetta
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Ah! Enemy! Enemy's here! We're under attack! Help! Someone! Anyone!
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Caspar
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Help? I'm the one who came here for help. I guess I'll just take care of it myself.
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Caspar
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I can't believe I got hurt trying to break up someone else's fight. It's ridiculous!
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Caspar
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All I do is step in to calm them down, and the next thing you know they're both at my throat.
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Caspar
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Hey, you ever been in a fight?
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Bernadetta
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Fight? You're challenging me to a duel?!
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Bernadetta
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No, no-no-no-no! I can't! I've never fought anyone in all my life! I surrender! You win!
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Caspar
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Uh, all right. That was easy enough. Not to be rude, but do you ever think that maybe your attitude makes you a little unapproachable?
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Caspar
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You should try stepping outside and socializing. I'm sure you'd make friends in no time if you didn't waste it all in here.
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Bernadetta
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Outside?! In no time?! Oh, sure! Yeah! Why didn't I think of that?!
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Bernadetta
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Or maybe it's just not as easy for me as it is for you! Did that ever cross your mind?!
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Caspar
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Why wouldn't it be?
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Caspar
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Making friends is easy! This one time I even made friends with someone I'd just been in a fight with.
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Caspar
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I think it was the gorgeous view that did it. We really shared a moment...
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Caspar
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C'mon, let's go check it out!
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Bernadetta
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Uh, h-hold on! Wh-what are you doing?! Please don't touch me!
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Bernadetta
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Aaah! Put me down! Put me down!
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Caspar
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Calm down. I'm just gonna carry you outta here. Easy does it!
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Caspar, Bernadetta enter the scene
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Caspar
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And here we are! See? That wasn't so bad now, was it? And what about this view? Gorgeous, right?
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Bernadetta
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So this is what death is like. Didn't expect it to be so...sudden.
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Bernadetta
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Come and claim me, sweet death. But first, let this evening sun wash clean my imperfect soul...
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Caspar
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Hey now, don't go dying on me, Bernadetta. It's just the sun.
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Bernadetta
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Huh? Wh-what? Where am I?
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Bernadetta
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Oh, it's...pretty. Such a lovely view...